Wanderpolo & Siegel, Counselors at Law

Redefining Yourself When Your Role as Caregiver Ends

Last week I met with a client who had been a caregiver for her mother for many years. It has been five years since her mother died and my client has spent the last couple years exploring what she wants to do next.  Many of my clients find that when their ill family member passes, they are left with the process of grieving and a big void in their lives that led them to ask, “Now what?” Caring for another adult, as explained in the article “What Happens When Caregiving Ends” from AARP Bulletin, can be so consuming that caregivers put their own lives on hold.

When their duties as caregivers end, it takes a while to adjust. Some say it takes from six months to a year to start feeling like themselves again. Here are some lessons learned from caregivers:

Stay busy and don’t let yourself become isolated. If you loved to travel before becoming a caregiver, return to that passion. IT might be good to travel with friends. Others find comfort in passions like writing, which can be soothing after years of coping with constant emergencies.

Expect unexpected emotions. Caregiving is an emotional process as well as a mental and physical one. A range of emotions, from sadness and grief to anger and frustration, often emerge when your daily existence includes free time. There’s also a lot of guilt, which is very normal. Years, months or weeks of not sleeping regularly, giving up your own interests and enjoyment in life, can lead to frustration. Then, when the person dies, you may feel guilty about the relief you feel.

Don’t expect the strong and often conflicting feelings to go away overnight. It often takes years for people to work through all the emotions surrounding the loss of a loved one. That is especially true if they were the primary caregiver. We tend to think in terms of one-year anniversaries, but for many people the first year is wrapped up on settling estates, distributing possessions and dealing with the business end of someone’s life. In the second year, when those tasks are done, or less time-consuming, the emotions can start flooding in. You might expect yourself to be “over it,” but you can’t force yourself to recover. It takes a very long time.

Delay any big decisions. If you’ve been putting off big decisions until after caregiving ends, give yourself permission to continue to delay them. You’re still in a fragile state and need to move slowly. Selling a house, getting a divorce or remarrying is best done when you are healed. Patience is not easy, especially when you want to make a fresh start, or move away from a home with painful memories. However, going slowly will provide you with time to heal, and to gain perspective that will allow for better decisions.

Give yourself permission to move on. When the time is right, you’ll be ready to move on. If you devoted years to taking care of your spouse and grieving when he or she died, at some point you may be ready to enter another relationship. Many people are surprised when this happens, and realize that you can love someone else, or even simply enjoy their company, after a loved one has passed.

 

Should I Help My Aging Parents Manage Their Investments?

As Americans live longer and their portfolios grow for extended periods of time, their adult children should be watching carefully—but how closely? That’s the question posed by the article “How to Help Aging Parents Manage Portfolios,” from U.S. News & World Report. There is no one answer, and it is a delicate situation. It is also more so for some families than others.

It’s not easy to talk with parents about their finances and their vulnerability to scam artists. Today’s thieves are also savvy. They use Facebook and other forms of social media to learn about family members travelling outside of the country, then call the elderly parents and pose as the grandchild needing money immediately for an emergency.

Some older adults rely on their emotional response in making financial decisions. Loneliness and depression, common in aging seniors, also increase the risk of becoming a victim of a scammer. That’s especially so, in the case of someone who has recently become a widow or widower.

It’s often hard for older adults to discuss finances with their children, unless they have done so over the course of their children’s lives and are comfortable doing so.

This issue is only growing, as investors live longer and portfolios continue to grow over the course of their lifetimes. It only takes a few mistakes for an impact to hit the portfolios and often there’s no recourse.

The first step for adult children is to be aware of  signs of mental decline. However, it’s important not to jump every time someone can’t find the right word or remember someone’s name. Keep an eye on their behavior: a formerly neat person who is now leaving bank statements lying around open on their desk, past-due notices arriving or an extreme amount of mail from questionable charities (versus large nationally-known organizations). This mean it is likely they are having a problem handling day-to-day finances.

Don’t confront the issue in a challenging manner. Have a pleasant conversation, possibly starting with a talk about your own finances and how you speak with your own children, or plan to, to get them moving into the topic. Once they are comfortable talking about money, start discussing other important issues, like whether they have done estate planning documents.

These are not always easy conversations, but they are necessary. And it is essential to have a power of attorney in place so that if there comes a time that the adult children need to help that they can.

Boomers Come Up Against One Thing They Can’t Push Back On: Aging

Boomers have always been proud of how they redefined many aspects of American culture. However, there’s one thing they can’t change: the inevitability of aging and death. A recent study from the Stanford Center on Longevity, says that workers approaching retirement will either need to work past age 65, reduce their standard of living or some combination of the two.

This is going to take some soul-searching and adjusting for boomers, their families and employers.

According to the SCL report, nearly 30% of boomers have nothing saved for retirement. For those who do have savings, the median balance was $290,000 for those born between 1948 and 1953 and $209,246 for those born between 1954 and 1959.

Here’s a reality check for you: If you have $290,000 in retirement savings, you can expect to generate about $11,900 in annual income, based on a 4% annual withdrawal. Next, add in Social Security benefits. But that’s no panacea.

The average Social Security monthly benefit for new retirees in 2018 is $1,460, or $17,520 annually, according to Social Security.  Therefore, the total retirement income grows with Social Security benefits added in to $29,420 annually.

This is far less than the commonly recommended retirement income goal of 70 to 80% of your working income.

Are boomers making up for lost time, by accelerating their retirement savings rates? Not according to this study, that shows they aren’t even putting away the amounts they should have been putting away all along.

The SCL study summarized two analyses that suggest the amounts that boomers should be saving and compares those amounts to what boomers are actually saving.

The Boston College Center for Retirement Research says that workers who start saving at age 25 and want to retire at age 65 should save 10% of their income during those years.  However, only 36% of all workers who have a retirement plan through their work actually contribute 10% or more.

Workers who start saving at age 35 and retire at age 65, should be saving 15% of their pay. However, in actuality less than 20% are contributing this much through their workplace retirement plan.

Boomers who come up against the hard realities of retirement, are likely to do what they have done all along—redefine this next stage of life.

 

Signed Your Will-You Aren't Done Yet

Imagine spending the time and money to do your Will and then have it ignored when you are gone.  All too often that happens because the original Will goes missing.  Either it is assumed the deceased had no Will, the document cannot be found, or only a copy is located.  

I just had a heart-breaking case where the individual had no blood relatives and left her entire estate to good friends and people who she considered family. Although she took the time to create a Will, the original document could not be found and the court would not probate the copy. In New Jersey there is a presumption that an original Will has been destroyed if it cannot be located.  This can mean that complete strangers--distant cousins or even the state--might get your assets instead of the people or charities you intend.

Therefore it is essential that you make sure that people you trust know where the original document is and can access it. This may mean leaving the original with the attorney, or putting it in a fireproof box or safe, but it is important you tell your loved ones. If you place your original Will in a safe deposit box, you also have to make sure your fiduciary has a key and is on the bank's access list. Lastly, keeping an updated list of your assets will help your loved ones administer your estate after you are gone.

Medicare Open Enrollment Ends December 7-Don't Miss Out

My elder care coordinator, Lori Kayne, and I recently went to see new clients.  A charming couple, 88 and 91 years old, they both struggled with substantial health issues. Yet, they were still in a Medicare Advantage Plan. These managed care plans, otherwise known as Medicare Part C,   offer many advantages for healthier seniors. They have minimal co-pays and deductibles and generally cover services that traditional Medicare does not. 

However, Medicare Advantage plans are run by private insurance companies and they are managed care plans which means they restrict your choice of providers.  This can be especially problematic when you need a specialist.  We have also found that our clients who have Medicare Part C have quite limited choices when it comes to picking the rehab facility to go to after a hospitalization.  In addition, our experience is that managed care plans tend to cut off rehab stays quicker than the provider would themselves. With Part C, the insurer decides,  whereas with traditional Medicare the facility makes the initial decision when they think Medicare will no longer cover the patient. For this reason, we often recommend that our clients consider switching back to Medicare Part A and B when they need long term care.

Of course, that switch can only be made under special circumstances or during Open Enrollment.    We are in the midst of Open Enrollment now which allows beneficiaries to switch between plans, add or drop Part D, move from traditional Medicare to Advantage or the reverse. There are many professionals who can help you consider your options given your specific health situation for free. Just remember you must make any changes by December 7th.

 

 

Your Nest is Empty? It’s a Good Time to Plan.

My husband and I just became Empty Nesters. Most of the articles you read on the “empty nest,” focus on couples now having more time for each other or redecorating the newly-vacated room (We haven’t gotten to this quite yet.)  However, there are financial and legal issues to consider at this time too.

If you are not paying college tuition, or you just finished doing so, you may find that your bank account is healthy for the first time in a long time. It’s tempting to splurge on all the things you’ve put off, waiting until the kids were grown. However, this is a unique opportunity to bolster retirement savings and build up (or build back) the emergency cushion that so many of us forget we need—until there’s an emergency.

Many parents continue to help their children financially. That’s a great thing to do, if you and your retirement accounts can afford it. Consider putting specific limits on any continuing support, like paying a monthly phone bill or a credit card bill or a one year time limit.

In some instances, kids never become completely financially independent. For children with disabilities that limit their earnings abilities, you should consider what programs and benefits are available to help. It is important to adjust your estate and financial planning to address the needs of children who are not independent.

If you haven’t updated your will since your kids were small, put this on your “before the holidays” list. There have been many changes to tax laws and your life may have experienced some changes as well. Review your estate plan with your attorney to be sure you aren’t missing any opportunities to minimize taxes or maximize your planned giving legacy.

This is also the time to check on your beneficiary designations.  Make a complete list of all of your accounts that have beneficiary designations and make sure they are up to date.

Now that the kids are grown it’s a good time to revisit your power of attorney and medical directives. If your child is responsible enough, you may want to name your child as back-up agents.  Your kids also need to have their own basic documents even if they have limited assets.

What if a Hostile Family Member Wants to Become Your Guardian?

Family conflict can become exacerbated when a parent ages.  Children who have disagreed or fought with their parents now threaten to take control of their assets.  Sometimes the parent knows that if one child gets this power they will not act in the parent’s best interest.  How can you protect yourself?

The most important step is talking to an attorney while you can still clearly designate who you wish to act.  Start by naming someone as your Medical Power of Attorney to make any decisions regarding medical treatment, in case you can’t make them for yourself. Discuss with the person you want to designate what your wishes are about health care and whether you want to have extreme measures taken, if they were to become necessary. Make sure they understand that their role is to carry out your wishes and they must be prepared to make some hard decisions.

When it comes to financial decisions, you can designate a power of attorney or set up a trust. A revocable trust can be more protective and allows you to provide detailed provisions for how you want your assets used. Having the proper documents should avoid the need for a guardianship, but you can also designate who you would prefer as guardian, as well as the person(s) you do NOT want to be appointed if a guardianship were needed for any reason.

It is scary to think about losing the ability to manage our own affairs, but it is comforting to know that we can designate who and what we want ahead of time and these directives will be followed if there ever comes a time when we cannot act for ourselves.  You may not be able to change your child’s personality or behavior, but you can protect yourself.

Singles Need to Plan Differently for Retirement

When you live alone, you need to plan for retirement differently than someone who is married or has a life-partner.  Those with a partner can, in most instances, rely on their partner to help out with expenses and be a caregiver, if they should become ill.  However, when you are single, especially if you do not have close family, you need to plan in advance, and you need to plan better.

Most important of all: making sure that decisions about your health and well-being are made the way you want them to be made, if there comes a time you are not able to make them for yourself. You also want to be sure that you designate who should receive the things you own, personal possessions and assets.

If you rely solely on your own income, it’s necessary to have an emergency fund in place. It’s also a smart idea to have disability insurance. That way, if you need to stop working, you will have an income source. Unless you have another stream of income or significant personal assets, you’ll need the benefits of disability insurance, especially if you are disabled and can’t work for an extended  time.

You may also want to consider long term care insurance.  Someone turning 65 has a nearly 70% chance of needing long-term care in remaining years. It’s important to consider your options for care before you need it. You also should discuss these issues with your friends or family who you have nominated to make decisions for you, so they know your wishes.  No one likes to think about these issues but studies show that individuals who have not designated anyone to step in often end up receiving care they did not want and are more likely to end up in an institutional setting.

When It Comes to Veteran’s Benefits DIY Doesn’t Work

As you might expect, there are several benefits available to assist wounded or disabled Veterans. But unbeknownst to many, there are also pension benefits that exist for men and women who served and were not injured.

Lack of knowledge leads veterans to miss out on the important assistance they have earned. However, it is essential to understand the various programs available to that planning done for one doesn’t interfere with the individual receiving all the benefits to which he or she is entitled.

The important thing to remember is that every individual and family situation is unique.  Estate planning, asset protection, Medicaid, VA programs, and tax considerations all need to be considered.

There are many unknowns and misconceptions attached to Veteran’s benefits. When it comes to Veteran’s benefits Do It Yourself typically doesn’t work. It’s important to get independent advice.

On the one hand, there’s a misconception that only those individuals who have been wounded or disabled while serving are entitled. However, the Veteran’s Pension is an income program available to wartime veterans or their surviving spouses. Even then, to be eligible for this pension, there are certain asset and income requirements that must be met. Most Veterans only reach the eligibility level when they require long term care assistance because the cost of medical expenses is deducted from their income to allow them to qualify.

It can be hard to get accurate information about the program. According to the VA’s own data, people who call the agency’s regional offices for help and advice are likely to receive incorrect information. This is only likely to get worse as new rules just enacted fundamentally changed the program with a substantially higher asset threshold but new penalties on transfers.

The rule change was partly in response to widespread abuse.  Many annuity salespeople prayed on Veterans. An annuity may serve individuals well financially. But in many cases, it can work against them. It all depends on an individual’s unique circumstances. It’s imperative to make sure that any financial decision you make will not interfere with other assistance programs, particularly Medicaid. Under the new rule, the ability to use annuities to expedite eligibility for the VA program is largely eliminated.

Wartime Veterans, or their surviving spouses, become eligible for the Special Pension benefit when they are over 65 years of age, are permanently disabled and unable to work, are homebound, or need the regular aid and attendance of another person, whether at home or in an assisted living.

The Pension’s Aid and Attendance rules are designed to help aging Veterans pay for the high cost of medical care when they are suffering from dementia, Parkinson’s disease, Lou Gehrig’s disease, or other health conditions necessitating long term care. The monthly benefit can pay up to $2,170/month for a couple, $1,830/month for a single Veteran and $1,176 for a single surviving spouse.

There’s also the opportunity for seniors to increase their disability ratings as they age and their war-related injuries become more severe. For instance, Veterans with hearing loss and mobility issues which are rooted in their service but aggravated by age should receive an increase in their benefits. Furthermore, many Vietnam and Korea era Veterans are not aware that Parkinson’s disease and many cancers are presumed to be service-related.

There are also additional benefits available for home modification and local stipends for in-home help. At WanderPolo and Siegel, we are committed to making sure the men and women who have served our country receive the full combination of benefits they deserve.

Social Security Slips to Avoid

You worked hard to earn your Social Security benefits, so make sure you get the most you can.  The system is complex, so it's not surprising that some people make mistakes.  Some mistakes that people make with Social Security are more serious than others.   Here are a few valuable tips, as reported in the article “Don’t Make These 4 Big Social Security Mistakes”

First, check the “use by” date on your strategy. There have been many changes to tax laws and  Social Security regulations. Having access to the entire world on the web is great, but if the advice you are following is not current— such as the file-and-suspend strategy—then you may be sorry. This was a very popular strategy that involved a worker who would claim benefits and then suspend them. The spouse or other family members were eligible to claim benefits on the worker’s earnings record, while those benefits grow until the worker lifted the suspension and started receiving payments.  However,  this tactic was eliminated except for a small group who were able to  act up until May 2016. 

However, individuals born before 1954 can still do a restricted application for just spousal benefits and delay their own retirement benefits. 

Failing to claim even after waiting to claim may not do you any good. Here’s the fundamental trade off with Social Security: file early and monthly benefits are smaller. Wait to file and the benefits will be bigger.  However, that does not go on forever.  After a certain point, you’ll get the same benefit.

What gets a little confusing is that the date to file is different, based on the type of benefits you are claiming. For your own retirement benefits based on your own work history, delayed retirement credits are available until age 70. There’s no increase in monthly payments past that date.

For spousal benefits, however, the date is different. No delayed retirement credits apply to spousal benefits, so if you wait past your full retirement age (FRA), usually between 66-67, then you may be leaving money on the table. You might not be permitted to claim spousal benefits at full retirement age, if your spouse hasn’t filed for retirement benefits. However, if you are allowed to claim spousal benefits at FRA, then there’s no need to wait any longer.

Are your benefits all working together?  This is where it gets complicated. When you have benefits both under your own work history and under a spouse’s work history, there are more moving parts. With spousal benefits, you can’t claim them without also claiming your own retirement benefits. You should, therefore, wait longer to file a claim, if doing so will help you get more benefits on your own work record due to delayed retirement credits.

But … if you are claiming survivor benefits because your spouse has died, there’s even more moving parts. You can claim retirement benefits or survivor benefits separately and don’t have to claim them both at the same time. Sometimes it makes the most sense to claim survivor benefits first, while you let your retirement benefit grow. In other cases, it makes more sense to claim your own benefits first and let your survivor benefits grow. You’ll want to be sure to coordinate them wisely to max out what you receive from Social Security. There are financial advisers who specialize in calculating the best option for your particular situation.

Did you get divorced before the 10-year rule kicked in? If you’re contemplating a divorce, you might want to consider Social Security timing. If you were married for at least 10 years before divorcing, you can claim Social Security benefits on your ex-spouse’s work record. However, if you got divorced after nine years and 11 months, you can’t. If you remarry, you can’t make a claim on your ex’s work records. 

These are four common pitfalls - knowing about them may result in important savings to you.