When you marry, you’re entering a partnership that is emotional and financial. When you marry again and when there are children from prior marriages, you are all entering a brave new world. The number one reason that stepparents and stepchildren fight is over money, according to the article “Don’t Split Heirs With Your Estate” from AARP.
If you and your spouse are each financially independent and leave your assets to your own heirs, this can avoid many issues. However, if one spouse depends on the other for support, assets will be needed for the other spouse’s lifetime. When there’s a big age difference, the children of the older spouse may end up waiting 10 to 15 years for their inheritance. One way to head off some of the anger that may follow a first spouse’s death in a second or subsequent marriage, is to distribute some assets to the adult children.
In blended families with good relationships, it would be ideal for children and stepchildren to be treated equally. If there’s a rational reason not to, like younger children who need college education funds, it is best to make it clear to all the reasons for the disparate treatment.
Personal property is another source of conflict within blended families. If first-family heirlooms are claimed by second-family children, the whole family could be headed to court. It can be very useful to create a document that makes your wishes clear about who should get valuable or sentimental possessions. This can be handwritten and incorporated into your will under New Jersey law.
There are other ways to provide for your spouse while ensuring that the assets ultimately go to your children upon your spouse’s death. A trust is just one way an estate planning attorney might suggest protecting both your spouse and your children.
